The father shouted: “I don’t need such a child!” And in his second family, he had a special daughter.
God “invents” such life stories, such twists and turns that an ordinary person could not even imagine. And one of the main goals of His creativity is to teach us to love. God, people and ourselves.
A woman recently wrote to me:
— With each of your articles about Masha, it hurts me more and more.
Masha is my youngest daughter, who has Down syndrome.
She told how she had an abortion several years ago. Tests then showed that her unborn child had Down syndrome (DS). The husband pressed, the relatives pressed: “We need a normal one!” And she broke. This story is more typical than out of the ordinary.
Time passed, and she became pregnant again. She gave birth to a girl. Normal, just like everyone wanted. She’s five or six now. And it turns out that the baby has a mental illness. They cannot make a diagnosis yet. But things are serious.
“Your Masha even goes to Sunday school, but ours doesn’t,” that woman said bitterly.
And all these years she has been repenting of what she did, confessing, but the pain does not go away.
You know, I really want to hug this woman. I understand perfectly well how she felt then, at first, when she learned about the diagnosis. Shock, fear, horror. But I am sure that many women who heard: “Your child will live with a disability” would still refuse an abortion if they knew that there were people nearby who would support them. And when you’re already crushed, it’s very easy to finish off, break. And the woman will do something that she will regret for the rest of her life.
To be honest, when I read her messages, I got goosebumps. God will always find someone for us with whom we can learn to love. We refuse one, He will give us another. A sick child, a grumpy grandmother, a drunkard neighbor, a harmful wife or husband.
Everyone in their life has someone “inconvenient” who is difficult to love. But there is no other way to learn. Apparently, that family really needs such a child. To love and become happy. Sometimes the path to love, happiness and inner freedom is very difficult. And the path to God too.
Late at night I received a message. It was written by a young woman, Marina. The first pregnancy and examinations showed that her child had Down syndrome. She was scared, didn’t know what to do, and someone gave her my contact information.
They live in a small southern town, almost a village. There have never been any children with diabetes there yet. They have never carried out such examinations in their clinic. This was the first year when they decided to send older pregnant women for screening somewhere in the regional center. Marina did not fall under the age limit, she was 24 years old, but for some reason her doctor insisted. There they told her: “You will be disabled! Have an abortion!”
Marina and her husband Igor are ordinary young people, not churchgoers. They got married when the girl became pregnant. The parents insisted:
— Don’t have an abortion. And everything will be like everyone else.
But “like everyone else” it didn’t work out.
Upon learning of the diagnosis, Igor disappeared from home for several days and drank. In some tavern, his twin brother found a guy:
“Quickly send yours for an abortion,” he shouted. — Do you need such a child?
The doctors hurried and insisted:
— All our children here are healthy, but here it is. Yes, everyone will point their finger at you…
Marina’s best friend, also pregnant at the time, with whom she shared her grief, turned away. As if she was afraid that she might get infected.
— Get rid of this shame immediately! Otherwise, you can’t count on my help! — Her mother shouted at Marina.
This is what she wrote to me about.
We were constantly in touch, I told her about Masha. About other special children. Together with my believing friends we prayed for them. And then a message came from her:
— Mom said that if I don’t go to have an abortion tomorrow, she will take me herself.
And disappeared. I called her, wrote, but Marina did not answer.
I was sure that she couldn’t stand it. I was hurt and offended — and for myself that I couldn’t convey that life with such children is not always pain, and for her, and for the doctors, and for her environment. And most importantly — for the poor child, who is not to blame for anything.
And then she called.
— Lena! And we will have a girl. They thought it was a boy, but it turned out to be a daughter.
— Didn’t you have an abortion?! — I blurted out.
— No!..
…That day, he and his mother went to the clinic to get a referral for an abortion. They had to go past the Baptist church. There was some kind of holiday there, and people were crowding at the doors of the prayer house. Among them is Marina’s next door neighbor, who persuaded them to come in.
This is how Marina first learned that Christ loved her. A few hours later she went home, knowing that she would not have an abortion. And after her, Marina’s mother scolded her and her Baptist neighbor.
I would really like Marina to come to us, to the Orthodox church. But it happened the way it happened. In any case, the Lord leads everyone on his own path.
She didn’t call me because she was afraid to upset me. I thought I would be offended that she became a Baptist.
She carried it to term calmly. Igor adopted an unborn daughter with Down syndrome. Doctors also demanded that the pregnancy be terminated. The grandmother tore and threw. But they couldn’t change anything…
— Lena! I gave birth! — Marina called me around six in the morning.
— I congratulate you! Let’s raise our suns together!
— Lena! I have an ordinary girl! What should I do now?
Marina laughed and cried. She was so accepting of her future special daughter that the birth of an ordinary child came as a shock to her.
And I laughed and cried with her. I then touched a huge miracle, I’m sure. I don’t know whether God changed this chromosome or whether the doctors were wrong throughout the pregnancy. But I definitely saw the miracle of the transformation of the human soul.
How much courage and love one must have in order to decide there, in that city, with such relatives, to give birth to a child with Down syndrome. What you need to break and build inside yourself in order to reach the end.
It even seems to me that the Lord specially “arranges” such “shocks” so that we discover ourselves as we are. Brave, strong, with a big heart. And they loved themselves. Each of us has the image of God. How can you not love him? Yes, the Lord really wants us to love ourselves. And of course — your neighbors. And Him.
Elena Kucherenko
Charity Foundationnd Holy Land
Investment in the Soul!
