The little boy was in a church built in honor of fallen soldiers, on the walls of the church many bas-reliefs, etc. with inscriptions in memory of soldiers. A child who does not yet know how to read asks the priest, What does it say?
This is in memory of those who died in the service.
Looking at my father with fear :
— Morning or evening?
***
In Optina I sing Akathist with sister K. The time of prayer has come, during the reading of which all prayers kneel. Only I managed to get down, I hear a whisper over my ear K.: “I have communion!” Astonished by the untimely remark, I reply, “Thank God” and try to focus on the words of prayer. But K. does not stop: «Can I get on my knees?» This strange request (everyone has been on their knees for a long time) puzzles me even more. Moreover, K. is much older than me and has been living in a monastery for several years. Despite my affirmative answer, the K’s are still waxing. There is no longer any question of prayer: I am trying to unravel the cause of this mysterious behavior. And then the last remark of K. is heard: «And the grace of Communion will not go to the floor for sure?»
***
Once, we blessed a young man who came to our temple again. Serious, silent, black, eyes with an oriental cap. They blessed him, on the very first day of his stay in the temple, to read the “Apostle” at the Liturgy. He comes out, as it should, in verse, solemnly carrying a book over his head, stands before the pulpit, everything solemnly and solemnly. Deacon: “Wisdom”, reader: “To the Jews of St. Paul’s Epistle Reading”, deacon: “Vonmem”, and then it turned out that the new reader decently kartvit, but despite this lowered his voice and withstood the pause of the official beginning: “Bhhatiya…” The singers had to be pumped away, they could not calm down with laughter.
***
A student of St. Tikhon’s Orthodox Theological Institute once had a funny incident. As with any young Muscovite, he was repeatedly molested by street preachers. They usually start a conversation with an invitation: “Would you like to come to our party (meeting, student group, seminar, etc.)?” He had already learned from afar to recognize his overly sociable peers from sects, and therefore, when another smiling couple headed to him at the subway station, he internally prepared to immediately fight them back, so as not to waste time on debate. He answered one question and asked him another. As a result, the dialogue took place: “Say, do you believe in God?” – “No, I am Orthodox!”
***
“When Father Paisios saw a crowd of suffering laymen at his cell, he fled. Rezvo rushed after him suffering, someone grabbed him by the tip of the mantle, but missed.
For a long time they ran after the disobedient confessor, had already dented two monastic flower beds, but they could not catch up and were so upset that they went to complain about Father Paisius the abbot.
The abbot, going out on the porch, beckoned Father Paisius with a thick finger and said in his ear:
— Why are you running away from your spiritual children?
— Not from them, Father, but from the spirit of vanity, answered Father Paisius, who was breathless.
***
One of Serbia’s most famous photojournalists, Vitsan Vitsanovic, came to photograph Patriarch Pavel for his magazine.
But as an atheist, he did not know exactly how to address the patriarch. During the shoot, wanting to explain how to get up to get a good shot, he said:
— Your Grace.
To which the Patriarch asked:
— If I’m Lord, why do you need a flash?
***
Vladyka Vasily Rodzianko had a tragic fate, but at the same time he was a bright, cheerful person, loved a joke.
He always quoted Seraphim of Sarov: Suddenness is the seal of Satan, it dries and hardens the soul. And joy is not a sin, because it softens the heart. Laughter from the flesh, from the stomach, and a smile from the soul.
And, indeed, the smile almost did not come off his face. He loved funny stories and told them himself.
Here are two of them.
While still Archpriest, Vladyka Vasily came to Patmos Island. He had to climb to the top of the mountain to the monastery. His legs have been sore since childhood.
Then the locals offered him a donkey. I must say that Vladyka Vasily came out in height in his grandfather — two meters. He was dressed in a wide and light Greek robe. He sat on the donkey, shook his legs, drove. And suddenly there was an explosion of laughter.
A wide cassock completely covered the donkey, only four thin legs were visible. Imagine a majestic old man climbing a mountain on four donkey legs.
“I have solved one of the myths of Greece – the myth of centaurs, or rather, of oslocentaurs!” he laughed.
Once in Serbia, in the 30s, the patriarch of the Albanian Church came. He also served in our foreign church.
After the service, the protodeacon in rank proclaimed many years, and when he came to the words «Metropolitan of Tiran and Duratsky», he could not continue further. He laughed and laughed to the great surprise of the distinguished guest.
Well, it was not their fault that the capital of Albania is the city of Tirana, and the second city is Duratsy, and that the full title of the guest was: «Patriarch of all Albania, Metropolitan of Tirana and Duratsky.»
***
The icon shop in G. A woman came to Novogrudka: “Please give me the fire-shot icon of the Mother of God.” A customer who has just started working and
Being not sufficiently churched, reviewing the icons, he replies dissatisfiedly: “Firefighters this time something was not brought…”
***
There is such a tradition — after the funeral of the deceased, the icon is taken from his chest and left for 40 days in the temple, and after this period is taken home. Many people (especially those who come to the temple only on the occasion of funeral service or christening) forget about the abandoned icon, as a result of which a fair number of images sometimes accumulate in the temple, so that churchwomen have to get special boxes for them to somehow arrange. Once such “forgotten” remembered the abandoned icon and came to the temple to collect it. To the churchwoman:
Here we left the icon here a long time ago, we should take…
— What exactly did you leave? (retrieved boxes of icons, began to look)
We don’t remember exactly, but the Mother of God is depicted there.
— What’s the name?
That’s the name… it’s about food.
— ???…Maybe the Bread Contester?
No, not her… (continue to search: the churchwoman looks at the icons, and those who came stand next to her)
— Maybe a housebuilder?
— No, no, there is such a name that with food well-being was …
They search, they can’t find. Let’s go a second time. Suddenly those who came cheerfully exclaim:
— There she is!
The Church holds in her hands the icon of «Eat Worthy».
People took the word “IS” literally.
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Orthodox stories from life
